Little Kisses
by Crimson2678
Summary: A/U Seifer has to deal with life on your own, school boy crushes, and learning when it's okay to be wrong. Seif/Zell m/m
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8 or its characters, I'm only   
borrowing them for a bit. Warning, this is yaoi.   
Author's Notes: My first fic after week's of laziness. Shall   
hopefully be writing the second chapter soon, or I might just keep   
it a one chapter fic. Oh, well, hope you like it.   
  
The sun shining through the blinds seemed determined to hit   
him square in the face, no matter how many times he rolled around on   
the bed. When he had finally found a pillow to stuff his head under,   
several bird began to chirp. It was almost as if the whole world   
knew that he, Seifer Almasy, had been out all night and was now   
going to make him suffer by not letting him get any sleep. Even his   
own body was betraying him, his stomach rumbling loudly as he was   
hit by hunger pains. The only thing that he could remember eating   
last night had been a plate of some veggie-shit that one of his   
customers had been willing to buy him.  
Once again flopping over onto his back, Seifer realized   
while searching blindly for his pack of smokes, that he could smell   
bacon and eggs cooking. Probably the damn kid, he thought as his   
stomach begin to grumble even louder at the thought of food. Finally   
finding his cigs, which were of course clover cigs because the kid   
didn't like the smell of smoke for some reason, he placed the cig in   
his mouth. Once again on a blind search, he managed to find his   
lighter, and after a few puffs, he felt that he could now get out of   
bed. Even though he wanted to just jump back into bed again.  
Scratching idly at the back of his head, and stretching,   
Seifer made his way towards the shower, grabbing a pair of gray   
sweatpants, the only thing that was clean. As he had already   
guessed, the damn little bastard had used up the all the hot water,   
meaning that he would have to take a cold shower. If it wasn't for   
the fact that the brat could cook, he figured he would have kicked   
him out a long time ago.  
Now fully showered and half-clothed, since he had given up   
trying to find a shirt that was fully clean, he made his way   
downstairs. From where he stood he could hear someone humming   
loudly, and he couldn't help but smile softly to himself. The smell   
of bacon and eggs was even stronger downstairs, and his stomach   
seemed to threaten to rip out of his body if he didn't get something   
to eat.  
Standing in the open space of the kitchenette/dining room,   
Seifer could only smirk softly at the scene before him. Standing   
before the stove, dressed in one of Seifer's old pajama tops,   
shorts, and wearing a white apron with little chicobos chasing after   
each other, was his little chicken.   
" Well ain't this cute. Cooking breakfast for me are we   
Chickenwuss? Never knew you cared so much" Seifer said, strolling   
into the kitchenette and seating himself at the table.  
The blond jumped at the sound of Seifer's voice, whirling   
around, spatula held protectively against his chest. The boy looked   
absolutely pale, as his frightened expression changed into a scowl.  
" Goddamnitt Seifer! My name is Zell! Zell, damn you! And   
who the fuck says I was cooking for you, ya jerk?!" the boy   
answered, shaking his fist at Seifer.  
Seifer just chuckled, he loved ruffling his little chicken's   
feathers. " Do you really kiss your mother with that mouth Chicken?   
I'm appalled, is that anyway to talk to your brother?"  
" I would if I had a mother to kiss," he said this part   
bitterly, " And you ain't my damn brother, you prick. You just say   
that so that you can boss me around."  
Seifer swore softly at the bitterness in Zell's voice,   
knowing that the little blond was still upset about what had   
happened to his mother. Of course because Seifer had pretty much   
been living on his own since the age of eleven, when his mother had   
overdosed, he couldn't really sympathize with Zell.  
Sighing softly, Seifer walked over to the younger boy,   
placing his hand on the boy's head, leaning down real close to him.   
He liked his lips as he bent his lips close to Zell's lips.  
" Well, I'm not your mother, but I wouldn't mind you kissing   
me with those lips" Seifer just barely whispered, his lips just   
barely touching Zell's.  
As had expected, Zell squeaked a very unmanly squeak as he   
pushed Seifer away, rushing to the other side of the room. The blush   
on his face was so cute, as he stood with his back pressed against   
the wall panting softly. The boy looked as if he had just had a   
heart attack, and Seifer couldn't help but laugh.  
" Hahhaha! You should see the look on your face, Chickie!   
Never knew you could blush" Seifer said, watching as the boy went   
from a dazed look to a pissed off look.  
" W-What'd you mean by that ya damn pervert! I wouldn't ever   
want to kiss you! " Zell yelled at him, blushing even harder.  
Seifer pretended to look as if his feelings had been   
severely crushed, even wiping at his eyes for added effects. Of   
course, Zell was too busy to rubbing at his cheeks to notice any of   
this, and so Seifer just turned to the food. For a kid that could   
barely manage to walk without tripping he could make breakfast just   
as good as any chef. Well any chef who only had eggs and bacon to   
cook with. And even though he hated to admit it, Zell was a better   
cook then even himself, seeing as how he still hadn't learned just   
quite yet how to keep eggshells out of the eggs.  
" Hey Chickie, set the table will ya?" Seifer called out,   
turning the stove off.  
Finally discovering his ability to move again, and the   
dreaded blush gone from his cheeks, Zell rushed to set the table.   
Every now and then he would glance at Seifer, and immediately find   
himself blushing again. It was something he couldn't help,   
especially whenever the older boy teased him in that way. Of course   
he couldn't really understand just what it was about Seifer's   
teasing that made him blush, seeing as how he figured that it was   
only girls that blushed like that when guys said things like that.   
Often times he had wondered about maybe talking to one of   
his friends about it, though more often then not he just decided   
that it would be best not to talk about it. Besides the fact that he   
guessed it could get Seifer into trouble, he was pretty sure that a   
lot of his friends either wouldn't understand or just wouldn't   
listen. Especially when he was feeling things that he knew wasn't   
normal.  
" Oi, Chickenwuss, when you planning on putting that plate   
down so that we can eat?" Seifer's voice suddenly broke through his   
thoughts, startling him.  
Zell flinched as the plate slipped from his hand and   
shattered, staring at the shattered pieces in horror. Flashbacks of   
what would happen if he messed up and broke something appearing out   
of the box that he thought he had sealed them in. He whimpered   
softly as he dropped down to his knees, getting ready to pick up the   
broken pieces.   
" Hey Chicken don't!" Seifer lowered his voice when he saw   
Zell flinch. " Don't worry about that, I have it okay? You just sit   
down."  
It only took him a few minutes to sweep up the broken plate,   
filing it away under the mental cabinet of things that need   
replacing. Then walked back over to the cabinet and retrieved a new   
plate. Zell just sat there at the table silently as he dived up the   
bacon and eggs, making sure that he gave Zell a little bit more. The   
boy was only sixteen, and he needed more food to help him grow.   
Which at five-feet-five inches, he most certainly needed to grow.  
After several minutes of watching Zell push his scrambled   
eggs from one side of the plate to the other, Seifer decided that he   
had enough. It was very rarely that Zell ever got this quiet, and   
when he did it usually led to an episode. And since he was still   
quite tired from staying out all night long, Seifer most definitely   
did not want to deal with an episode.  
" Hey, Zell," the name sounded strange and foreign to him, "   
what's wrong?"  
Zell looked up from where he was poking at his eggs, staring   
up at Seifer for a minute before looking back down at his plate. For   
just a second he wondered if he could actually tell his problems to   
him, but then decided against it. He'll only laugh if I do tell him,   
so why should I bother?  
" There's nothing wrong, why do you ask?" Zell said, forcing   
himself to smile and take a bite out of the eggs, which tasted cold.  
Seifer frowned, not liking how Zell was acting, and knew   
most definitely that he was going to have an episode.  
" It's just, your being so quiet today. Did something happen   
while I was out?" Seifer noticed that Zell's cheeks flared pink for   
a second before becoming pale once more.  
If he only knew. " No, nothing happened, I told you I'm   
fine."  
Knowing that he wasn't going to get anything from the boy,   
Seifer just merely shrugged his shoulders and returned to eating.   
What ever it was, he could always just ask him about it later.   
Whenever Zell got like this, it was hard as hell to pry anything out   
of him, and he usually never said anything about the problem until   
it was too late and he was having a fit.  
It was several minutes later before Zell finally spoke   
again, his voice soft and timid, a definite sign to Seifer that he   
was getting ready to have an attack.  
" Umm, Seifer, why'd you ask me to kiss you?" Zell asked,   
once again poking at his eggs.  
Seifer was glad that the boy wasn't looking up at his face   
now, or he would have noticed the blush on Seifer's face. " Well, I   
was just playing with ya. I didn't really mean nothing by it."  
For some reason, that question seemed to hurt Zell, although   
he didn't know quite why. That was the answer you had wanted, right?   
Even though, a small part of his body had wanted Seifer to mean what   
he had said. You would want him to kiss you, how sick you are   
Dincht. Zell stared at his plate, his head bent down so that his   
bangs covered his eyes. For once he was glad that he hadn't gelled   
his hair like he usually did, so that Seifer couldn't see his eyes.   
Or as something traveled down the side of his face, his tears.  
" Yeah. You're right, you were just playing around. Sorry,   
for acting strange" Zell said, his voice soft.  
Seifer stared in silence as Zell got up from the table, and   
ran out. Leaving behind both his food and his a dumbfounded nineteen   
year old.  
" Ch. Teenagers" Seifer muttered as he stared at where Zell   
had been sitting.  



	2. Zell's Dillema

Disclaimer: I in no way own FFIIIV or its characters. Although I do own Zell's made up Daddy, and you can feel free to torture the bastard however you seem fit

Author's Notes: Just a note, poor Zell-kun here hears voices in his head at night. The voices will mostly be italics with an added something to tell them apart:

**_Daddy's Voice:_**

Voice one:

**Voice Two:**

__

Hopefully this won't be too hard to distinguish. Daddy's voice is in bold. Voice one is in italics. And voice two is in bold underline. I want voice one and two to be characters from a FF series, so if you have any suggestions, to be shy and suggest!

Warnings: This chapter is pretty dark (my muses are in torture-the-bishies mode). Don't read if you squick easily. That said, on with the fic!!!

"_I wouldn't mind if you kissed me using those lips, Chickie"_

Zell groaned as he continued to stare up at the ceiling, as if the answer to all his problems were up there just waiting to be discovered. Even though it had been three days since the conversation with Seifer, he still couldn't get it out of his mind. Couldn't get rid of that slight sliver of _something_ that he had felt when Seifer had said those words. And then the overwhelming sense of sadness and despair when Seifer had said that it was nothing more than a joke. Couldn't get his mind off the dream he'd had months before, which he'd seemed to get completely out of his mind.

Though now the dream was back, along with a few new ones. Dreams of Seifer holding him. Kissing him. Of touching him in _that_ way. Of Zell wanting and begging for something so intense that it scared him, and left him breathless. The first time he'd had the dream, he had been so scared that he had cried. He had even thrown away the soiled sheet and clothes so that Seifer wouldn't find out. He didn't know just what Seifer would do if he was to find out that he was having those kind of dreams, though he'd be damned if he was careless enough to let him find out.

Though he couldn't help but wonder. Would Seifer be mad at him for not telling him earlier? Or would he tease him and make jokes. Or even worse, would he hit him?

**_ "Only dirty little boy's do that kind of thing Zelly! And dirty little boy's need to be punished by their father! I'm just going to have to find you and…."_**

" Shut up!" Zell yelled out loud, then slapped a palm over his mouth.

He hadn't meant to say that aloud, and he listened franticly for any sign of someone else hearing him. If Seifer were to find out that he was hearing things again, well, it wouldn't be pretty. Especially since Seifer would then find out that Zell hadn't been taking his pills, which would only make Seifer unhappy. Zell knew he didn't want to see Seifer mad, especially since he knew that Seifer had quite the temper.

But once again, his thoughts were starting to stray, as they usually did when he didn't take his medicine. Would Seifer really be that mad to find out that he had been dreaming about those types of things? Although the real question to ask was would Seifer be angry if he knew that he was cause of those dreams?

Zell couldn't even remember the first time he had ever begin to think of Seifer in _that _kind of way. He had always admired the older boy, even if he was a pain in the ass. And even though he'd die before he ever told Seifer, Seifer was what he wished he could be. He just knew Seifer was the kind of person that would never let himself get picked on by anyone, would never do stupid things like trip or break things. Seifer was the kind of son his father would have wanted, not some little scrawny stupid kid who was too hyper.

Biting his lip, Zell rolled over onto his side, staring out the window into the darkness, curling himself into a ball. If only he wasn't so clumsy, or stupid, or scrawny. Maybe then Dad would have liked him. Maybe Seifer would like him.

" No he wouldn't stupid, Seifer likes girls, not scrawny big mouth chicken boys" Zell whispered to himself harshly.

The feeling to break something was getting more and intense, so Zell climbed out of bed to begin shadowboxing. It was something he always did when he was either scared, or bored, or nervous. Seifer always called it '"swattin' flies"'. Zell couldn't help but laugh, he guess it did look like swattin' flies when he did it. Maybe if he was more graceful or something Seifer would call it something different. He wished he could see Seifer shadow box, he probably did it better than he did.

After a few more minutes of shadowboxing, Zell slipped back into bed. With his shadowboxing over, his mind begin to wander again. He couldn't help but wonder what Seifer dreamed about. Maybe it was about money. Or girls. Or maybe, just maybe Seifer was dreaming the same dream about him.

**_Ha! Don't count on it. No one would want a little piece of shit like you._**

Biting his lip once more, Zell shook his head clear of the voice, his Daddy's voice. He wouldn't listen to his Dad anymore, he didn't have to. Seifer had told him so, had told him that his father would never be able to hurt him again.

**_Oh he did, did he? And just how the fuck you suppose he's gonna do that? Pop a couple of pills in your mouth? Or maybe send you to the hospital, like the other family did_**

" That's not true, Seifer would never send me away. He loves me," Zell whispered, a deep sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

**_He loves you? Oh really? And just how does he love you Chicken-shit, tell me that_**

Flashbacks of Seifer in the dream suddenly came to Zell's mind. Visions of Seifer kissing, touching, pressing against him flashing before his eyes. The only thing he could think of was how hot he was. So unbearably hot, as the visions kept coming. Seifer kissing him tenderly on the lips. Seifer pressing hard kisses to his body. He could even feel the weight of Seifer on top of him. Could feel Seifer thrusting inside of him.

**_Heh. That's not Seifer's, that's Daddy. Such a nasty little boy_**

" No!" Zell moaned, reaching a hand up to pinch at his nipple.

**_Harder_**

Zell pinched his nipple harder, as a vision of Seifer lapping at his nipple tenderly flashed before his eyes. Of Seifer's finger rolling his tender bud, gasping as Seifer bit his nipple.

**_More_**

" Please…." Zell knew he was beginning to loose it again, as he always did at night. He hated the night.

**_I said more!_**

Tears slid down Zell's cheeks as he slid off his boxer, his fully erect manhood tenting the sheets.

**_Heh. What kind of man are you Zell? You aren't even that big._**

Moaning softly Zell reached down and wrapped his hand, no, it was Seifer's hand. Seifer's large hand wrapped around his manhood, stroking him towards completion. He spread his knees more; he had too, the image of Seifer kneeling before him. He could almost feel the wet heat of Seifer's mouth as it engulfed his erection.

**_Such a little whore, you were always such a good little slut when it came to this_**

And just like that, the visions broke, and it wasn't Seifer taking him. Instead, each vision changed to that of his father. His father grinning down at him as he held him down and forced him to take what Zell didn't want. And yet, Zell's, no Seifer, no his father's hand continued to stroke his erection.

" Please stop!" Zell cried out, biting his free hand to keep from crying out louder.

**_What would Seifer think if he were to walk in right now?_**

At that, Zell went completely still. Daddy is right, I have to be quiet, can't let Seifer hear me, Zell thought. Seifer would think he was a bad boy if he did. Couldn't. Couldn't let him see. Couldn't let him see what he and his daddy did.

**_But you like this, don't Zell?_**

The voice was no longer in his mind, it was right next to him. And he could feel his Daddy inside him, hurting him. It didn't matter though, because when the sun came back up, he could be Zell again. He could go back to being the brash and foul-mouthed Zell. He could talk back to Seifer, and shadow box. He could go to school and walk the hallways, and go and talk to his friends. The Zell he was now, at night, wasn't the Zell in day.

__

He hated the Zell who got to live in the day.

**_Hate? Don't you mean jealous? Jealous because you'll never be him._**

Zell bit harder into his hand, causing it to bleed. It didn't matter; pain was of no matter to him. All that mattered was that he spread his legs like Daddy ask. No, not Daddy, wasn't it supposed to be Seifer? Seifer was supposed to be the one. The only one.

**_You think he's going to want you like this? After he finds out just what you've been doing? Poor little Zelly, so adorably stupid._**

" Daddy… please…. Please…." Zell panted out, his mouth open wide as he silently screamed, his back arching.

**_Such a little slut, Seifer will never want you_**

The vision of his father faded away, as did the vision of Seifer. His father had finished anyway, so why should he stay? All that was left was one last finally thing. He could hear his father laughing in his mind, could just hear how disgusted Seifer would be when he finally found out.

**_That's right, you have to clean up your messes Zell._**

Zell cried as he licked clean the mess from his hand, dipping his hand over and over again onto the mess on his stomach until he was clean. He once again cried as he noticed that not only was he soiled, but the sheets were soiled as well. He couldn't throw away the sheets; Seifer didn't have the money to buy him any new ones.

**_You made this mess; you'll just have to sleep in it._**

" I hate you," Zell began to murmur, sitting up and beginning to rock back and forth. " I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

**_Hate me all you like, there's nothing you can do about it anyway._**

Tears begin to pour from Zell's eyes like rivers as he continued to rock back and forth, chanting the phrase like a mantra. His mind was empty now, almost as if the voice had never been there. If only he had taken his medicine, _he_ wouldn't have been able to come back and hurt him again. But Zell hadn't taken his medicine, and so he had been punished. 

" Seifer" Zell whispered, putting all the pain and sadness he felt into that one word.

Slowly creeping out of the bed, Zell walked towards the bathroom, his boxers clutched tightly in his hands. He didn't feel anything as he stepped under the showerhead, the hot water on full blast. The water singed his skin to the point of numbness; not that it mattered to him, Zell was numb inside already. If only the sun would come up soon, then he could give control over to day Zell.

After stepping out of the shower and making sure to clean up behind himself, Zell begin to make a slow trek towards Seifer's room. He didn't know why, but for some reason he wanted to see Seifer. Had to see him. The pain in his chest begin to increase with each step he took, his vision beginning to waver with unshed tears.

" I just want to see him," Zell whispered, pushing open the door to Seifer's room.

Seifer's room was dark, except for the light coming in from the moon. Seifer was lying on back, arms flung out almost as if he was expecting some angel to fall from the ceiling and hug him. Zell thought it looked cute, though he couldn't help but notice how the sheets were riding low on Seifer's hips, and that Seifer was wearing nothing underneath. Ignoring the blush, which Zell considered strange seeing as how filthy he was; why did he still blush?

Now standing beside Seifer's bed, Zell couldn't help but look down at Seifer in a mixture of want and admiration. Reaching out a small shaking hand, Zell cupped Seifer's cheek. He dragged a single over Seifer's lips, then down his chest. He couldn't help but drink in the sight of Seifer. Of his muscular arms, his abs, the dusky brown of his nipples, the trail of short blond hair that lead to a slightly larger patch of curly blond hair. Everything about Seifer was perfect. Untainted. Clean.

Unlike him.

Sitting next to Seifer, Zell leaned forward, his lips just inches away from Seifer's. _Just this one little kiss, _Zell thought, pressing his lips softly against Seifer's, _just this one little kiss and I'll be happy forever._

So caught up in his mental swear, Zell did not notice Seifer's lashes flutter as his eyes slowly opened.

Author's Note: *Shakes her head* poor little Zell. *glomps fic-Zell* I nearly cried while writing this, mainly because I was listening to some pretty sad songs, and so sorry if this chapter isn't that great. My muses seemed to be crying once again for bishie torture, and they seem to have chosen poor Zell. Although things will start looking up for Zell. Next chap, Seifer tries to deal with the fact that he's been kissed by Zell, and likes it. Zell has an angst free chapter. And Quistis appears on the scene. 

And thank you Platinum Angel and Hellcat for the reviews. *hands each a squeeze-me-I'm-angsty- Zell plushie*, hope you enjoy these ^_^


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